They say that there is "truth behind every
lie". Which is true, for the most part- but some lies less so contain just
a few nuggets of revealing fact, and instead actually can come to be the truth.
Eventually. Maybe you could describe certain lies as being prophecies of real
life. Or maybe the best thing to call these lies are predictions- which, of
course, are often very wrong.
I remember thinking about writing lies about myself a
few months ago, during my first Creative Writing class of the year. We were
instructed to do a variation of the classic game "two facts and a
fib"; where we instead were to write either two truths and a lie or two
lies and a truth, and have people guess which were facts and which were fibs. I
wrote the following list:
1. The shoes I'm currently
wearing cost only $20.
2. The only concert I've ever
attended was a Weird Al Yankovic concert.
3. I once got a speeding ticket
while driving down Windsor Road.
Yeah, it's pretty tricky, isn't it? I would sure hope
so. But the only fib about me was number three, so if you got that correct,
congratulations. You get a cookie. And yes, back when I was in elementary
school I was obsessed with Weird Al, if you know who he is. If you don't, I
would suggest you don't spend time checking him out.
With that thrilling tidbit of backstory set in order, we begin my story on one Saturday night, where the winds were blustery and the moon luminous. I was driving to a friend's house for some good clean fun, which would surely last until sunrise as I was intending to stay the night. I was rapidly weaving through a congestion of cars with my windows down, warm gusts of air blasting onto my face. My music blared and my engine roared as I sped off ahead of every other car on the road.
Why was I speeding? Mainly because my other friends
were already there, and being human, I didn't want to feel excluded in any way.
But also for the joy of going at a high speed, especially on such a perfect night-
I was in a good move and filled with youthful enthusiasm, after all. Also, I
knew the cops would never be hovering around roads on the watch for lawbreakers
this late at night, as it was about 10:45.
I was only a minute or two away from my turn, when one
of the pitifully snail-like cars I zoomed past was starting to catch up. I was
not worried in the slightest, until I saw them in my rear view mirror,
following me onto Cherry Hills Drive. I was still relatively calm, until two
things happened all at once: the previously unidentified car turning their police
lights on, and my friend calling me. The scariest part was that I had my volume
of my radio extremely high, and as my phone was connected to the aux, my
ringtone started blasting out the stereo.
I hurriedly slapped the radio off as to turn off the
noise, and slowed down greatly. I still wasn't sure if the police car was after
me yet, as they were yet to turn on any sirens. I remember the rapid switch
from my ear-piercing music to utter silence, when I was anxiously waiting for a
siren of any sort. After about 10 or 15 seconds, I heard the sirens briefly
beep, and I knew.
I pulled over, and the police car did the same. I
heard a car door closed with force, and I rolled my window down. A robust, tall
policeman of likely around 35 years of age, sternly asked "license and
insurance, please". My voice slightly wavered as I stated "here you
go, sir" as I handed both to him. He told me to wait as he paced back to
his car. I used this anxiety-riddled pause to text my impatient friend to shut
up and to not text me until I made it there.
After a few minutes of impatiently waiting in the car,
I eventually heard a very authoritative voice gruffly yell "you may now
come out of the vehicle". I immediately thought that the voice didn't
match the officer who had asked for my license, and was proven correct when I
saw a second cop now standing, arms crossed, behind my Mustang.
This shorter, but stouter man angrily questioned me
about if I knew how fast I was going, and if I knew curfew, and why I didn't
stop immediately. I kept my answers as short as possible, always ending with a
"sir". During this bone-chilling interrogation, I remember nervously
fiddling with the toothbrush in my pocket. Unfortunately, he noticed, and
demanded to know what it was- to which I mumbled in reply, "sorry, it's
just my toothbrush, officer". But I could tell he was still suspicious;
which become even more apparent when he threatened to "bring out the
hounds". I told him that it was not necessary, and luckily he believed me
enough to stop asking questions.
I thought I might have made it off scot-free, until
the first officer also came out of their car. I realized he was carrying a few
text-heavy sheets of paper, which were surely a ticket. After a few more
uncomfortable minutes of the shorter officer relentlessly repeating if
everything was "crystal clear" (no joke, he said it at least 5 or 6
times), they told me I was free to go. I gloomily trudged back to my car, where
once I was inside, I read the ticket. It was for no less than 120 bucks, and it
listed me as going about 60 in a 35 zone.
Once I had made it to my friend's house, I told them
what happened, even though they had already guessed, due to the long delay and
the frantic tone of the text I sent. I told them I had to call my mom first, so
thankfully they went downstairs while I had the most frightening phone call of
my life. Luckily, I had been watering the plants of various people's over the
summer, meaning I could tell my mom I would pay her back in the morning. Though
the next day I was chewed out, for the most part I have avoided significant
punishment. I still have my guard up though, just in case they try to spring
something on me.
Luckily, my friends didn't really tease me or try to
console me, so we were able to move on to more fun topics fairly quickly. I
guess I don't really regret the ticket now, but I sure was horrified when it
first happened. Thankfully, this then-terrifying experience has humbled me as a
driver, luckily before my reckless ways either got me in an accident or in much
worse punishment. The fib in Creative Writing, which I initially thought was
clever, turned out to somehow be an exact prediction- maybe I just knew I had
the ticket a long time coming. Which is why I now always drive legally. Mostly.
-HD
P.S. Drive safe. Stay safe. Don't be a chowderhead
like me.
Honestly, I truly love your blog. As the title claims, you are a narcissist--but a self-aware one. Life, no matter how hard we try to stave against it, gets really crappy really fast. So too, do cops when we do almost double the speed limit. By that same token, life also gives second chances. When you're speeding, you get pulled over, pay a small fine, work to be better. When you're nearing egocentric levels of your personality, you write a blog, confess your guilt, hope that the jury of public opinion pressures you into being better. Henry, you are a narcissist, but not a bad person, your blog's introspection shows this. I look forward to reading your next realizations in the future. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI remember this happening, as I was one of the friends waiting for you. We were really worried and wondered if something bad happened to you (which was sorta true). However, I am glad that we were still able to have a fun evening. To be fair, you did always have the habit of driving a bit crazy. However, thank you for showing us all and teaching us a valuable lesson.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, I've very much enjoyed your blog post. The whole story of how your lie in the beginning of the year turned out to be true, how your subconscious had turned out to be right when you thought about what would be the most realistic lie about yourself, became a lesson of self-reflection on your driving habits, the narrative voice and reflective tone made it extremely entertaining to read.
ReplyDeleteBut as someone who's been in a fairly serious car crash before, I would definitely urge to drive safely, and always wear your seat belt!!
The way you've narrated your story was impeccably done. I felt nervous for you as I read about your encounter with the cops. Overall, it was a really enjoyable read. I think the moral you've carved out is a good one, especially since most of us are pretty new drivers.
ReplyDeleteThis was a thrilling story! Great job narrating your emotions as well as keeping the suspense going all throughout. I loved the detail about the toothbrush; you pointed out a weird detail during a tense situation, which was really humorous to me. I also liked that you came full circle in the end, going back to your prediction from your creative writing assignment. I think it's a really cool way to nicely wrap up your story. Keep up this quality writing!
ReplyDeleteGreat Story, it must have been a terrifying experience getting caught while speeding for the first time. I really liked how you described the cops, especially when the second cop came into the picture. I also thought it was interesting how the officer was tempted to bring out the hounds as if you were a drug dealer.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite the unfortunate coincidence Henry. I loved the way you told your story- it was very easy to visualize everything. Your descriptions of the officers, your voice, the setting- all of it was perfect.
ReplyDeleteI also like how this post, like all your others, ends with a good moral lesson that's backed up fully by the story. Great job.